Stop Ignoring Your Intuition: Self-Confidence and Getting the Joke

Opening up with a story of “lost and found” and the emotional ride of ignoring intuition, Hilary shares how distracted and disoriented she became when seeking something important without slowing down and accessing her intuition. Knowing that the best lessons come in layers, intuition is closer than we can imagine - always with us - not to be ignored for long. In this playful “true storytelling” episode, we’ll explore why intuition is key to our life path, and how ignoring intuition may simply be a pause on our journey. Prepare for a different type of treasure hunt and Hilary’s real-life antics of (possibly) not practicing what she teaches for a few forgetful moments.  

Watch or listen to Hilary's TEDx talk now 

Transcript

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Stop ignoring your intuition. It kind of sounds a little accusatory, and I apologize for that, but this goes way back to right when the pandemic broke out, and it became very clear to me that the handful of clients that I had, maybe a couple handful of clients at any given time, I've got kind of 20 clients on my docket at any given moment. And more, as the pandemic was expanding, I it was clear to me I wasn't going to be able to see them in person and wasn't going to be able to work with them one-on-one. And while I was missing them and wishing I could get back into the healthcare building, I also had this very clear sense of, oh my goodness, did I block them from their own intuition? Because I work as what's called like a medical intuitive. I use the term natural health intuitive because I actually don't do anything medical. I help us tune into our own bodies and be able to reflect back in this big wide world of energy that we have, which is communication and data and all these things that make us uh filled with information and intuition uh references in the etymology of it, it references the inner teacher, the guide within us. Specifically, it's the inner tutor. And a tutor isn't just like a professor, a tutor is one who guides, who leads, who mentors. That's pretty cool, and also teaches. And so um inside our own concept of ourselves, our me, is this greater intuition, um, this greater part of us that's always teaching us and guiding us and mentoring us. And um so I sat down with my trusty um assistant and coach, um, and we said, let's figure out how to teach about intuition really, really fast. And we offered like early online classes back in, you know, basically April of 2020. And it was fun and I really enjoyed it. And I went on to teach more classes about intuition because I shaped an amazing, amazing curriculum because I tapped into my tuition, intuition. I tapped into my intuition to be able to define and outline and share all the pieces that I hope that all of my clients and all of you can have. Um, and that was the idea that I might not be able to do this again. The government might come in and say, why is there an energy worker at a general practice, um, working across the hallway from a nutritionist and next to our psychotherapist. What is she doing? Um, turns out I was welcomed back with open arms. I was back in there, I think, three or four months later. Um, but boy, had I built up like this beautiful um understanding of the importance of teaching and sharing what we know. That being said, I teach about intuition everywhere. You can find it by joining the Good Energy Healing Club. You can find it about um, you can find it on the Shift Network where I'm a faculty member. It was called, my class is called Befriending Your Intuition. And I'm also gonna be out at Kripalu um on March 14th, 2025. I'm gonna be out there and I welcome you all to sign up for, I believe the class is called Your Inner Energy Healer. And you can see why that title is good because it's the inner intuition, inner tutor, energy healer. It all comes together. I never do one alone, like just reading uh the intuition of a situation. I always incorporate the energy healing with it. That's my style, that's what I love to do. I'm not bragging, I'm not even promoting right now. I'm cueing you guys up for a story to be like so you would think that I would be able to tap into my own intuition. Um, so uh recently, as in like this earlier this week, um, I had set forth to have a really nice day. I um was getting together with a friend who was on vacation, um who'd been working diligently, um pretty intensely for the last few months. So I was honored that we were gonna take precious time together and go to an art museum and go out to lunch. Sounds pretty straightforward. Right up my alley, super happy. Had my clothes picked out, or so I thought, picked out in my head. I've been doing this since like I think high school, where I would, you know, grab a couple more minutes in bed, being like, well, if I just think through the steps of my day, then I don't have to rush around. And so I do that the night before now, and I kind of think about, you know, the exact outfit I'm gonna wear. And even if I don't lay it out on the chair or anything, I have it in my head what I'm gonna wear. So I bounce up, really ready for this day, go to reach into the clean laundry basket for the folded pair of pants, and they're not there. And they're not in the other place I think they are. They're not hanging up, they're not in the laundry, they're not anywhere. My time was slowly diminishing because I lost 15 minutes on what should have been a five-second task, which is to grab the pants that I'd plan to wear that go with the old boots that I love to wear. Some of you are following me and can track what this is like to be me, um, where you're just thinking, I had a plan and the plan is falling apart. So I'd already exercised that part of my brain. And by the way, spoiler alert, I never found those pants. They're like cute little green corduroy, um, like pull-up with an elastic waist that have a bootleg. They're super cute. Never found them. You'll see as this story progressed, there's a real good chance that maybe I decided they're not so cute or they don't, they're out of style. Part of me, as I'm talking to you right now on this podcast, is thinking maybe I did donate them to Goodwill, but um, I'd forgotten that. I'm human and I was able to find another pair of pants and wear the same pair of boots I wanted to wear. Okay. So my I was maxed out on things not going as planned. My sweet friend wrote to me and said, Hey, I don't know if she was being intuitive or not, hey, don't worry if you're not running on time. We can be pretty loose today, no rush. Somehow I took that as a challenge because I'm like, does she think I'm gonna be late today? I uh I'm I'm all in. So then I turned to my husband and I say, um, listen, I'm getting ready to go. Um, I know that we haven't budgeted for this day because we're working really hard on being um strict with our budget and talking to each other. I said, but um, this is how much I think it's gonna cost, and which account should I tap into to reimburse my friend for the museum ticket, which by the way, she didn't let me do. And then also we went out to lunch together. So that we did get to do. And um, we had a great time at the museum. It was all good. And do you have any money as I was planning for this? I said, um, that you think would be best used, which which account? To which she said, I just sold something on Facebook Marketplace. There's a um stack of bills, and just grab them and um it's kind of like free money, it's not been brought into the budget yet, and we can you know put it in you know recreation for what you're gonna do today. Awesome! I get my hands on the the bills, the stack of bills. It adds up to more than enough for the day. It's about $150, all of you. You know what how good that feels. $150, stack of bills, and I proceed to get dressed, get myself ready to go, and then I go back to the bureau as I'm walking out the door, because I put it on top of his bureau, and I went to grab it, and it was not there. It was not there. Oh boy. I had in my own free will found a stack of dollars through my husband and lost them. So I had no money and I was getting ready to leave. And now I was like, oh, okay, I guess I'm gonna be pulling from some account I don't want to pull from. I'm gonna have my ATM cards, what have you. This is it was it was kind of falling apart. The plan was falling apart for me. But never fear, I was sure that I was gonna find it. So I started by looking, by retracing my steps, you know, um, all the usual places. And then I started retracing my steps to the unusual places, like the refrigerator, the freezer, the cabinet where I took my vitamin C supplements. Did I I I mean, I think I might have even looked in the vitamin C bottle at one point. I was 15 minutes, 15 minutes into looking because there was nobody that could have taken it, nobody could have stolen it. I started to go into a little bit of magical thinking, like, is somebody messing with me? You know, um, I started to uh worry about my own memory. Um none of this helps when you're in a rush and you're trying to find what you're looking for, but I I hope, um, or I don't hope, but I'm sure all of you kind of relate to this. And finally, I surrendered, right? I surrendered and I um decided I just didn't want to. I know I was told not to rush, but this was getting ridiculous. I was gonna be a half an hour late. So um my husband um happened to come downstairs and he said, Um, hey, did you find it? And I said, I didn't, it's here somewhere. And he said, have a great day anyway. And I said, I am so mad at myself right now. And I just threw my hand up in the air. I am so mad at myself right now, you don't even want to talk to me. That's how I said goodbye to him, okay? Yeah. So I got in the car and I did a reset, and um I was able to go over in my mind what the little clues were as I was driving down the road. For me, driving, especially alone in a car, is a great time when my brain resets. I'd given up, completely surrendered that I was gonna find it, but I knew it was gonna show up at some point. It had to. Um, and um, I was thinking about them about the cash, and I was remembering this little trick that I did. Um I stopped for a moment and I meditated. And I, as I sat there, I was like, okay, Hillary, do your thing. That's what I say to myself when I feel a little panicky, a little anxious, when I've lost something, when I'm feeling not grounded, um, when I'm feeling scared and sad, all of all of these things. Um I just kind of speak to myself, and I don't know what my thing is at any given moment, but it but it means basically do what you would do or what you would advise for your clients. Help yourself the way you would help your clients, or help yourself the way all of your clients have taught you what works in this world. One of the things that I found that works in this world when I when I can't find something is that I go ahead and um I go ahead and start another task. Does that work for all of you out there? Have you ever tried that? You just start another task, such as if it is in the refrigerator, it's like, well, you know, I should probably make myself a smoothie, and then you open it and be like, oh yeah, I put it in there when I was grabbing an apple this morning. Oh, that's funny. Whatever, let yourself off the hook. I had done that. I'd done that. I'd check the fridge when I started another task. I I um I started the task of getting dressed, and then I got this message, which was check your top drawer. Um now keep in mind, I'm I'm rethinking all this now that I'm on the road and I'm in a more clear thinking state. Check your top drawer. I was like, well, what is my top drawer telling me? And my top drawer was telling me that things are out of order. Um, funny, you know, I had bras in my top drawer, and that's not where I like to keep my draw bras. I like to keep them in a special basket in my closet. Okay, there you go. Little intimate information, but it's important to share this with you because um I was thinking about, you know, how that was such a clear, intuitive message, maybe to get my life more orderly. Maybe it was a metaphor for putting things back where they belong and not just throwing things in the old habits, you know, create new habits, create new order. And I was like easily 12 miles away from my house. And I took a deep breath, and I don't remember the exact moment because I was multitasking. I was driving, I think I was getting onto a major highway, and suddenly not only did I remember where I had put the money, but I realized I had the money on me, and the clue was in the guidance to tell me to look in the top drawer. Hello, everybody, I'm Hillary, and this is the Good Energy Healing Show. I had put $150 cash in my bra. And so as I was heading on my way to the art museum to meet my friend, I had the money on me the whole entire time. And I burst out laughing because I got the joke. I do need to listen to my intuition, stop ignoring my intuition, and it was so close, I would have had this amazing victory because I would have been like, why am I looking in my top drawer? Why are my bras out of place? What do I need to know? I was like, brah, brah, brah. Well, I had forgotten, I had blocked, it was only me, myself, and I that in a split second, when I was changing up my outfit and realizing I wasn't gonna have a pair of um uh, you know, I wasn't gonna have good pockets for these new pants that I was wearing. I was like, I'll put the money in the one place I know it will be safe and I won't forget. And I put it in my bra and I proceeded to completely forget about it. The joke was between me and me. It was nobody else's fault, but I was ignoring my intuition. So I told myself to do the thing, right? And I didn't really do the thing. I just stayed like curious and a little panicky. Now to give myself some grace, I think that my um, I would think I was not in a sympathetic, I wasn't in a parasympathetic state. I was in a sympathetic nervous state. I I was I was thinking too much about being late, about letting other people down, about not people pleasing, about um my own um self, low self-confidence that I lose things all the time, which isn't true, um, that I'm not organized, which is fairly true and not true at the same time. I'm highly organized in the things that I am highly organized in. And um in other ways, I'm certainly not a neat nick. Anyone who knows me will know that, but I'm not a disorganized thinker. And I didn't mean to sabotage or be neglectful. And I and I even wondered if I don't respect money enough, right? So that's where the joke is even bigger. Not only do I respect money, but I put it to my chest. I kept it as close to myself as possible. Anyone who's ever carried uh money in their bra knows that you put you put the thing that is most um valuable to you right there, the money, um, what whatever it might be, the ticket, whatever, whatever you don't want to lose, you put it right there. Um so again, uh welcome to the good energy healing show. Um, I'm Hilary Crowley, and I just wanted to invite you all to um be playful with the stories uh that get us all wound up and the importance of growing your intuition, absolutely growing your intuition by getting the joke and having this deep confidence that if you're really looking for something, you don't have to go into a magical realm where um somebody mysteriously had broken into the house and stolen the money in the two seconds that you were between like the kitchen and the bathroom. Like I'm not making this up. Like I had all of those thoughts. And none of those thoughts were helpful, none of those thoughts were intuitive. Uh, they certainly weren't loving and they weren't playful. Um, I also created an emergency that didn't exist. Um I was going to have access to money. I had a gracious friend who say I showed up with no money, would have covered me and I would have been able to pay her back because we live in a time of van mo and cars that can drive, and I could find a way to repay her. But I I I turned it into like as close to like a life or death situation as anybody should first thing in the morning on a on a day off. Um, a day that was set aside just for recreation and friendship and play. And um, I just really wanted to like take a moment to kind of remind myself and all of you to stop ignoring our intuition. How many times have you noticed that you have a treasure right in front of you, but you weren't in the right mindset yet to see it? And and I um and I was thinking about this term, you know, stop ignoring your intuition, and I realized that I did have a treasure. Um, way back when um in 2020, I started to dream a little bit about this idea of stop ignoring your intuition. And when I dream, I write. I write down notes. Um, I don't mean sleep dreaming, I mean like daydreaming or or spontaneous like inspiration. But I like to keep notes. And here's one of the ways that I'll admit I'm not as much of a neat nick or organized is that because I'm a writer and I'm an intuitive, I take pause about throwing things away that um maybe other people would not hesitate to throw away. Uh, cleaning out old notes, cleaning out old notebooks, cleaning out old books. Um I find so many treasures when I flip through things. And in this case, it was my notes. And I found um these beautiful notes that um I actually have pulled up right here. Um, stop ignoring your intuition, I wrote. And then I wrote, why? And then the answer was because intuition is one of the primary jobs you have in life, is to be intuitive in order to work towards healing your life and healing yourself. So, intuition, I was connecting to healing, of course. Your inner energy healing guide, your inner guides. What does this mean? Um, well, I then quoted Mary Oliver, the great poet, who asked this question How do you want to live your one precious life? Do you want to live it ignoring your intuition or do you want to live it with your intuition? Um, one of the reasons I just told that story is because I got all of I did my thing actually. I got all of my all my prayers answered because I felt like my intuition was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's on her. She's gonna have it, she's gonna leave. She's gonna, Hillary's gonna do all the things where she's gonna give up, she's gonna surrender, and we're gonna just have such this awesome mic drop moment with her. Like they're la like there's different parts of me, you know, that are kind of reflecting, but there there was a part of me that knew exactly where that money was the whole time. And there was a part of me that was just flat out kind of angry, irritated, and I would go so far as saying panicking that I couldn't find it. Um and those two parts of me existed at the same time. How cool is that? One part was playful and kind of patient and also a little bit trickster energy, right? And the other part was impatient and irritable and um kind of catastrophizing. And I just love that both of those uh parts of me work together to create this huge joke where I laughed out loud on the highway when I realized that the money was on me. And I also realized in that moment, it was like, wow, do I have such a teachable moment that I can share now? Because it was on me the whole time. So that's how I want to spend my precious, beautiful life with um having the hard moments be the biggest, uh, most fun, playful lessons. I want to spend my life. Getting the cosmic joke of my life purpose. I want to spend my precious life staying curious and also allowing for imperfections in every direction. I hope maybe that's how you want to live your life too. And so I look at these notes and it says that I had written down years ago, I wrote down there are two ways that we actually ignore intuition. And I don't even know if I agree, if my new self agrees with this, but I think it's it's worth sharing because I want to share this treasure chest I've just opened. And it said that one of the ways that we ignore our intuition is to give parts of ourselves privacy. Um to like it's a it's it's not ignoring if I'm offering like a privacy to myself, meaning that um, well, if you could imagine that I was working with a child or a client or a friend, and I knew where it was, but the child's running, the child's self is running around. You just go, you know, like the school teachers say, we can wait, you know. Um I don't want to, I don't want to interrupt this experience, I don't want to interrupt this lesson she's gonna have. We can wait until she settles down. So there's that privacy. And then for those of us who tap into intuition, um, we want to make sure we're always respectful. And in my case, you know, I've evolved even before that and since then, because I've held to this very, very clearly. Um, intuition shows up and it feels like an aha and it feels like a remembering, and it's always kind. And if it's ever, ever scary, you're just not in the intuitive place yet. You're not in that big, beautiful, sacred connectedness to which we're fed the intuition from. So until it's ready to be received, um, we might feel like we're ignoring our intuition because we're not ready to receive it. Um and then the other way that we ignore our intuition is like actively wanting to block out and not connect. And that is can be a trauma response, can cause that for us. Um anger, um, I mean, a need for attention, um, meaning that there's something bigger that there's some bigger purpose that I need to get to before I can get to resolution. Because intuition and resolution always come together. I was gonna say sometimes to come together, but they always come together. It will feel like the, oh, there's the missing piece or a major missing piece of the puzzle. Now I can move forward. I can resolve on my path, I can keep going forward. But what about those of us who are at a point in our life where we're like, why do I have to be moving forward? I really need to look at this, I need to experience this. Um, my therapist calls it the shadow. Um, and my therapist is reminding me that she really thinks that exploring the shadow is good work, um, not something where we just, you know, tiptoe towards the light all the time. Um, so that can be another way that we ignore our intuition. Um, I think you all can maybe agree that the story itself and the lesson that I learned was life-changing for me. And the metaphor, because you know I love little stories and metaphors, is like if there's something you really, really love and you're really, really missing, and you know you put it somewhere, it might be right next to your heart. It might be closer to your heart than you can even feel. I mean, there there's where spirit guides, guardian angels, inner intuition, um, your understanding of God, however you want to translate it, that's never a bad lesson to get. The thing that you're seeking the heart is for, that you're running around, chasing your tail, looking outside of yourself for, only to find out that it was right next to your heart all the time. So I really wanted to um talk about the importance of not dimming that spark, that ability to um ignore your intuition is real. But it's not as loving and confidence-building as we want it to be. So I had a before, which was before my story of losing the stack of cash, and an after, which is right now, today, telling the story and letting myself be changed and letting the fire in me be um ignited even more to breathe in, to, to, to breathe air and fresh air and oxygen into the spark and allow my intuition to deepen, knowing that the things that I'm searching for the most, the things that I believe I lost, I probably put them someplace very, very safe. And there's a real good chance it's on my body, in my heart already, or on my heart. There's not much more I want to say today, um, because I want you to go out into the world and into this next beautiful phase of your life, whatever it might look like, um, to understand that as you listen to yourself and you do your thing and you listen to your intuition, you may be pleasantly surprised to find out that the big things that you've been looking for are right next to your heart. They've been with you all along. And it's classic to many, many, many fairy tales that the peace we're looking for has been with us all along. It's classic to Joseph Campbell's hero's journey. The line is literally the home that you're searching for was with you the whole time. The gift you were searching for was with you the whole time. The talent, the purpose, the love that you were searching for was with you the whole time. And so for me, stop ignoring your intuition now is just a gentle way for one part of me to talk to the other part and say, Yeah, I'm gonna give attention. I'm gonna give attention and love and patience and confidence. Even the piece of the story of walk away, get on the road, clear your mind, don't sabotage your whole day, let go and discover when you're when you're ready that you have the peace and the calm and the healing to retrieve whatever treasure you think you may have lost. If it is meant to be with you, it is with you, especially if you know deep down nobody took it from you and you want to find it, you desire to find it, and you're seeking. Um, seeking is such a powerful way to pray. And so think about um all the ways that you seek and all the things that you seek, and then allow yourself to surrender to listening to the answer. Um that's really my best. Um my best little bit of advice um sharing with you to stop ignoring your intuition, be confident, and go ahead and let yourself get the joke because life is playful on all levels, in any circumstances, no matter how big or small the catastrophe is, you are never alone, and you have this beautiful inner guidance in you. Um take a moment, do your thing, and have a beautiful day. I'm Hilary Crowley. If you enjoyed this episode, please hit the five stars. Please share with your friends, subscribe, like. Um, and also I wish you well to go out into the world and remind others to stop ignoring their intuition, whether you're a teacher or a parent or a manager or just somebody who smiles um at a passerby and gets a moment to to talk about intuition. It no longer needs to be subverted. It is a it is a um beautiful part of how our minds and our hearts and our brains and our spirit works together. I wish you all a beautiful day.